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by Amy Sherman, LMHC We all share one common goal in life and that is to be happy and to experience inner peace and joy. However, you can’t look outside yourself to find that happiness. Money, appearances, and social recognition do not truly make you happy, since the pursuit of money and fame can cause a great deal of anxiety and heartache. So you really need to look inside for the key to that inner peace. To do this, ask yourself the following five questions:
We all share one common goal in life and that is to be happy and to experience inner peace and joy. However, you can’t look outside yourself to find that happiness. Money, appearances, and social recognition do not truly make you happy, since the pursuit of money and fame can cause a great deal of anxiety and heartache. So you really need to look inside for the key to that inner peace. To do this, ask yourself the following five questions: What are my lifetime accomplishments? Your answer may be: "I graduated college and started my own successful business. I married, raised 2 wonderful children, and provided for my family and spouse. I live in a beautiful home that I decorated myself with things that give me pleasure. I have many friends and family, who care about me and enjoy my company." Review all that you have done, no matter how small, so you can feel good. You can then say with certainty, “I did accomplish many wonderful things in my life.”
What are my many talents? Your answer may be: "I play piano, flute, and guitar and have written my own music. I enjoy ballroom dancing and do it well. I crochet sweaters for all my grandkids. I love to tell stories and enjoy writing vignettes about my life." In whatever way you express your creative talents, identify what they are so you can say, “I truly am a talented person.”
How have I helped others?
Your answer may be: "I volunteer at a local senior center and teach reading in a literacy program. I take my aging mother shopping 3x week and I’m the support and encouragement for my overly dramatic teenage children." You have unselfishly given and offered services to others and that should make you feel good. Therefore, you can say, “I have helped many people.”
Have I made a significant difference in anybody’s life?
Your answer may be: "I received a note from an old client, thanking me for valuable training. I made someone feel special by giving a surprise party. I’ve been a trusted confident and good companion to my newly divorced friend."
You have been there when needed and left a lasting impression, which is priceless. Therefore, you can say with confidence, “I did make a difference in someone’s life.”
How many people have I forgiven?
Your answer may be: "The longtime grudge between me and my sibling is over because I took the first step to make amends. I dropped the resentment and painful old feelings with my ex because I’m ready to move on. I forgive myself for past mistakes, knowing that I did my best with the resources I had." Because you’re now free to live your life with gratitude, it feels appropriate for you to say, “I have forgiven many people, including myself.”
Look over your life and all that you have done and know that you will continue to do gratifying work. You can be at peace that you have contributed much to others and are valued by others as well. This peace gives you a sense of overwhelming pride and satisfaction. If, for any reason, you couldn’t find an adequate answer to any of the questions, it’s never too late to fulfill that void. Remember that you are entering a time in your life that can be extremely positive, meaningful and enriching inside and out. Amy Sherman, LMHC, is a licensed mental health counselor, offering therapy to individuals, groups and families in West Palm Beach, FL. Visit www.bummedoutboomer.com to learn more about boomer issues or contact her by email at
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or by phone at (561) 281-2975.
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